My roommates and I have planned a holiday/birthday party and invited about 50 people. I'm going to estimate that about 25 people will fit comfortably in our apartment that is the size of my old closet (ironically, I now have no closet- just a place on the wall to hang clothing that I fashioned out of random materials from Home Depot.) If you are in this situation- simply follow these steps:
1. To compensate for the poor ratio of apartment to guests, create a very desirable ratio of guests to food/alcohol. The logic being that the drunker people are, the less they will care about your roommate's boyfriend's coworker's friend accidentally grabbing their ass. Repeatedly.
**Mulled wine- check
Tower of chocolate chip cookies- check'
Chips, cupcakes, dip, choco-peanuts, and other artery-clogging foods- check
Ridiculous amount of green and red jello shots- check
All available half empty bottles of liquor in our apartment (including one Nalgene bottle full
of something clear)- check
2. Don't worry about refrigerator space- as long as it's cold, just keep all of the open alcohol on the fire escape (aka "terrace") for chilling. This creates much more space for the 100 dixie cups full of jello and vodka. [As a side note: In case you are, like me, from the South and attempting to make jello shots in NYC- you CANNOT buy Everclear in the city. It is actually illegal. Maybe someone accidentally set themselves on fire or something... i dunno]
3. Create harmony among your guests- i.e, invite all of the guys in your apartment building and none of the girls.
4. Once the guests clearly outnumber the amount of square footage, ditch your apartment for a bar only inviting the harmonious guests which you have deemed worthy of hanging out with you. And bring the Nalgene bottle full of the clear stuff.
Visual aids:
Footnote: don't forget to taste several of the jello shots before any guests arrive, just to ensure consistency.
2 comments:
well written!
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