Nelsie

Friday night, I had promised to attend a party with a friend in Fort Washington. First off- I have no clue where Fort Washington is, so I'm like "Of course I'll go!" I soon learned that Fort Washington is way out to hell and around the corner from nowhere. Three more girls in tow, we all head out and decide that taking the subway is much too perilous and that we definitely need to squeeze all 5 of us into a cab.

The cab driver is hesitant, of course, because having that many people is illegal. But we all push our breasts up a little higher and he agrees. Some of us are already pretty drunk, and we are all pretty loud. Nelson, the driver, looks like he wants to change his mind and throw us out. So I begin asking him where he's from, and then we all try to guess. Finally we find that he is from Brazil and immediately demand that he teach us Portugese. This goes really well, because between the drunkness and the loudness we all end up yelling random nonsensical syllables and Nelson is just laughing. He is glad he picked us up now- at least we are amusing.

This is the longest and most expensive cab ride ever, and every time we see a cop, I have to bend in half so it looks like there are only 3 people in the back seat. By the time we reach upper west Nelson is hearing all about African American genitalia. When he drops us off, we all record his number in our phones, and he is dead set on coming back to pick us up when we are ready to leave. Its going to be a great night...