Riding Along

Ummm, there is something outside of my apartment that can only be described as a JewMobile. A white minivan, doors agape with a giant light up Menorah on top and blue streamers a-plenty. The best part is the music blaring up and down the street (please forgive me if you are Jewish and reading this...) that goes something like "Machina Machina Machino- Yo yo yo yo yoooooooo!" I'm totally cool with the fact that they need to drive down St. Marks handing out tiny Menorah candles and dancing in a circle, but I wish that they knew more than one song. Also, I think as Jews, they should be able to easily recognize other Jews and not yell at everyone walking down the street asking if they are Jewish. Look at me- I think the song you are singing is about machine guns- clearly I am not looking to score a light up dradle on the way home. While this pic taken from the "terrace" is really bad, I think you can get the idea.
JewMobile, JewMobile, Hunting for Jews in the JewMobile!

Mixed drinks... Part Une

Tuesday night with all the leftover alcohol from last weekend, a roommate that's leaving the next day, and a magic mike= RIDIC. Picture 5 girls drinking things like orange vodka chased with leftover red wine while belting Mr. Big "To Be With You." Yes, I am aware that everyone in my building is now probably planning retaliation including things like rotten eggs, leftover Indian food, and old Christmas trees.

Nevertheless, we are having a fabulous time until the wee hours. So Wednesday morning I wake up too late to find that my roommates have also woken up too late and I realize that I am going to work without a shower. Whatevs- at least I only have one meeting, and its with Marketing. As a general rule, most of them look like they traded clothes with the bodega owner while getting their morning coffee so I'm not worried. So I pull on some pants (that could also be considered leggings), choose a couple of tops and put on a belt cause that always makes you look more put together...

Running down Saint Marks metro card in hand. Crossing 3rd avenue. Boots sliding on a grate. Laying on my ass in oncoming traffic. Some guy in trench coat bending down saying "Are you okay!??"

Yeah, that just happened. Thanks guy in trenchcoat for being the only person not wearing a hood, listening to an ipod, and stepping over my body lying in the street. Perhaps you just needed some karma points, but at this point I don't care. Get to work late, turn on computer, sit down. What the hell am I sitting on?? Get up, look behind me- nothing. WTF!? Sit down, again- realize that whatever it is in IN my pants. I'm in my office, reaching down my pants, and finding... something. Ah yes, a morning surprise of dirty underwear in my form fitting tuxedo pants... Honestly, who does this happen to? At least I walked all the way to work, was helped off of the asphalt, and said good morning to my boss looking like I have a giant tumor growing out of my thigh... (ITS NOT A TUMA!)

Anyone, anyone?