A Twenty-Faux Thanksgiving

Its Perfect. I leave for the airport, no traffic, no check-in line, no security problems, flight's on time. My mom picks me up and we lunch/shop. At this point I know it can only go downhill from here.


In all truthfulness, I had a fantastic Thanksgiving at home. A lovely dinner with mom, then over to Mother Linda's. By the time I get to Mother Linda's she is one large size bottle of Beringer's in. "What are you, a movie star? Got your damn sunglasses on and the sun's already gone down," she greets me. Love it. This is a woman I can appreciate. After we down another large vat of pink wine, she is telling me how much she loves "Mason's" (Macy's) and regalling stories of how she can remove her bra with a long sleeve shirt on in less than 10 seconds.


Friday night=wonderful disaster. My BF is having a party for me and her younger sister, as our birthdays are very close. Here are some highlights...

Great shoes



Fabulous hats



Teacups full of pink stuff

Add in a night on the town and a couple of former boyfriends and you've got yourself a situation intéressante. So, what is the proper thing to do when you're hanging out with friends including one ex and you go to a bar only to find ex #2 schmoozing with some girl?? Do you introduce them? Do you run as fast as your blue shoes will carry you? Hell if I know. So I did the only intelligent thing I could think of- I completely ignored the situation. It worked perfectly until one too many pink teacups caught up with me. Too bad I walked up to the girl and said, "hey, you better BE AWARE- he's a tricky one."

Well, we all knew that was going to happen. Cut to me and posse leaving the bar, and ex #2 creepily waiting outside in order to interrogate me about why we aren't still together.... Right. At least ex #1 was there to buy a Papa Johns extra large pizza! YES! I didn't think this would happen, but I am actually really glad to be back in NYC!

Two Things

A. I finally made the trek back home to Chucktown- 1st time since February (hence the lack of blog)

2. Tomorrow is my twenty-faux birthday. Yeah- I'm thinking of not moving forward from twenty four. Although, twenty four has been a shitty year, so maybe I should just go with it.

Situation of note...

Last weekend before leaving I decided to have a lovely night out with friends celebrating our utter outrageousness. I also decided to drink a bottle of wine before leaving the apartment. Shocker. Beauty Bar, always a good time. I apparently befriended a Canadian by spilling his drink all over him. I also apparently ended up in his bear-skin clad apartment sometime in the AM. Canadians: are really hard to understand after 8 drinks and LOVE animal skin of any kind... I generally pride myself on being quick, witty, and ready for anything. But whenever this guy completes a sentence, I literally have to pause for a good 5 seconds to digest/translate whatever he just said. This makes for many awkward moments. Not to mention the part where I tell him I have to go to the bathroom and when he comes to check on me 15 minutes later, I'm sleeping....

Okay, no more of this.

GCHAT

Yesterday's Gchat Message:

Me: What should I wear?

M: You should probably wash your hair

Me: How do you know my hair is dirty?

M: Your hair is always dirty...

You know when....

You know when you are randomly walking in your neighborhood and you find that AWESOME place, and you're like- I will totally hang out here. For me, today, that was a liquor store. I'm sorry, but in times of recession, cheap alcohol is important. There is a liquor store at Astor Place with $3.99 wine. Yes, Trader Joes- EAT IT. I will not stand in your hour long line, collecting bottles along the way instead of actually perusing the shelves at my own pace. This place has lots of old men around to help you find the $3.99 wine and to tell you which vodka is on special (in case you need both.....) BRILLIANT!

Just saying, check it out.

man hands

I just have to take a minute and throw this out there... I am super into fashion and street style and am all over the androgenous thing that's happening right now. However, today on the walk home I saw 3, yes 3 guys wearing coats with fur trimmed hoods... Is this ok? I cannot fathom walking hand in hand with some guy, looking into his fur-framed eyes...seriously? Maybe its because I'm from the South where the only acceptable forms of warmth are made by North Face. But I don't see how this is acceptable.

While I'm on the subject, it kind of weirds me out when guys are wearing gloves. Scarves, scarves are hot- love it. But gloves belong to...i dunno, OJ Simpson. Rapists. Spider Man. Its creepy. I know its ridiculous to think that only women can have warm hands, but damn guys- put them in your pockets!

Awesomeness

Roommate: "I wish I could wear a baseball cap to work so I'd never have to wash my hair..."
Me: "Yeah"

Seriously...I mean, seriously.

All I wanna know is why is it ok for people to SPRINT down 32nd street to Penn Station. When I leave work and begin my stroll onto 7th Avenue to the subway, I am incessantly bombarded by men in suits flailing in my face, their pleated pants jacked up to mid-calf. And women, the women, UGH. If you are going to wear a pencil skirt and old lady pumps, what makes you think you should run at full speed, dodging cabs and buses while your heinous laptop bag flaps behind you knocking over innocent bystanders- and why don't you YELL into your fucking Crackberry while you're at it. That way you don't notice when your Jacqueline Smith heel cracks someone else in the shin.

I literally watched a man full on pumping his arms today, and when a bike rolled in front of him, he SKIDDED on his leather bottomed loafers and onto the asphalt. WFT? Who acts this way? Just to make a train? Dude, get a fucking chai latte and wait it out.

I DONT GET IT!!