- Why do Asian guys always have like mullet-esque uber pointy hairstyles that stay up even without hair product?
- Why is there so much trash in the East Village, but nowhere else? Where does all the other trash go? God forbid you need to hide something in our hood cause your trash will definitely end up on the street where all the scavengers can dig through it and steal your identity.
- Who waits 'on line'? How can you stand online? Are you physically on a line that you previously drew on the ground? Are you on the internet somewhere, like on my Netflix queue? WTF
- Why don't we all just tell each other when we have something stuck in our teeth and whatnot? What's the big deal? Do we all really want to be walking around with our zippers open and poppy seeds from this morning's bagel stuck in our teeth? Seriously, help a mother out...
- If they make pills that make you skinny, pills that calm anxiety, pills that help you stop smoking- why can't they make a pill that makes you tan? Market that shit all over the South. Southerners would stop smoking just so they could afford the tanning pills. Seriously, we have to be tan. I'm buying anti-anxiety pills just to calm my nerves from being so damn pale.
- Why the hell do we keep watching reality TV? Seriously, I just saw a show called I Love Money which entails a bunch of fucking losers who perform random acts of stupidity and then vote off whichever person has the smallest breasts. I dunno- that's what I got out of it. God, please help us to get our own realities..
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2 comments:
First, I think you're hysterical.
Second... Asians are just silly. What freaks me out even more, though, is when I see a fat Asian. I thought they were genetically dispositioned to be tiny.
A fat Asian is like a gay black man- god just back slapped them twice.
Finally, the reality shows are ridick, but I am addicted to I love Money. I can't help it. The gross blonde they call Frency cracks me up.
In response to this, I say:
On my facebook profile in the section titled "Activities," mine reads 'Being politically incorrect.'
I think we would get along...
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